Little Monsters

I watch a lot of zombie movies. A lot. Zombie films are not often rated highly by IMDB and other aggregator sources. In fact, some of the best zombie films have a mere 40-50% audience approval. Then there’s Little Monsters. This film has garnered 100% (no joke) audience approval on Rotten Tomatoes. Frankly, I didn’t think that was possible and I was prepared to hate-watch it just to ridicule it and tear it apart.

Little Monsters

Instead I found myself laughing and cheering with almost every scene, from the death metal Christian music, to the ukulele zombie “pied piper,” to the zombie puppet sidekick. I couldn’t find any significant flaws. It earned it. It really was a very well-rounded zombie/horror/comedy, and one of the best I’ve seen. More importantly, the characters each had lots of character development and still stayed true to their origins — growing enough to make the film an honest and remarkable almost family-friendly tale of flesh-eating redemption and apocalyptic survival.

If all of that isn’t enough, the Australian location and international cast provides adorable accents and the only real human villain is a Pee-wee Herman wannabe that makes it ridiculously easy to dislike him.

Watch it. Watch it now.

Save Yourselves!

This film was designed to portray how an ultra-woke couple would deal with an alien invasion. On the verge of becoming social outcasts and losing their income and respect for one another, a NY couple is offered the opportunity to stay at a cabin for a week. They decide to go offline for their vacation to make it more personal and rekindle their relationship.

Warning: Spoilers!

The tagline for this film is “Turning off their phones was the dumbest idea on the planet.” Sure, but their first instinct the moment they had cell service again and learned that there was an alien invasion was to rush from the comparable safety of the forest back to the city as quickly as possible. The same city that was already leveled by the aliens.

Save Yourselves! — Don’t waste your time on this movie

They’re being attacked by aliens that literally suck the life out of people, and Su adamantly refuses to arm herself to defend from their attackers. She’s perfectly happy to chop up the little furballs when actually attacked (and then feeling guilty for saving her friends life afterwards), but no guns.

They’re perfectly happy to lie to each other while discussing why they need to be more honest and open, break promises and insult each other left and right. One of the opening scenes at the cabin is Jack talking about how he wants to learn how to make a rabbit trap to “humanely” capture them. In the final scene they’re captured in much the same way that a rabbit trap works. “Humanely.” They’ll end up being food for the puffs.

If you’re a fan of the end-of-the-world/zombie-apocalypse/alien-invasion genre then you’ll probably want to skip this one. There is very little to redeem this film. In thinking it through to write this up, the only real redemptive part is that you get to see these two babbling idiots place their politics above their lives again and again and again, demonstrating how true believers are insane.


Captain Marvel

Warning: Spoilers.

Summary: Meh.

We went to the theater on opening day. To ensure I was able to give it a fair shake I didn’t waste any of my time with the anti-SJW torrent the film has received on places like Rotten Tomatoes. That’s not my thing. Nevertheless, you just can’t help but hear how the star of the show personally hates you because of your skin color and gender. At the very least, I expect to have my opinion dismissed because I’m just a white male so my opinion doesn’t matter. She had her say, now it’s my turn.

I love the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In fact, they’re the only films we are still eager to see in theaters with every release, and we buy each one in all formats. Nothing else captures my attention with great stories, wonderful graphics, and such intricately woven characters that immerse you in the story. There is an immense comic source to draw from and they consistently do a great job ensuring that each character actually plays a part. For me, every MCU film has been a minimum 3 stars, and they’re often 4.5+. This one was only a 3.

On that note: The story was awesome. The cinematics were great. Young Fury & Coulson were quite entertaining, and the entire theater reveled in watching SHIELD grow from infancy to inevitably spawn The Avengers. Unfortunately, the humor was limited and many attempts didn’t draw a single laugh. I found myself the only person in the theater that laughed on two separate occasions.

Goose (the “cat”) stole the show. Really.

Brie Larson

Get used to this expression

This installment in the MCU answered many questions that have been alluded to across many of the other films.

Yet, as with most things, the feminist ruined it. I really tried to give her a chance, but Brie Larson (Captain Marvel) really hurt the story. She smiled once through the entire film and grinned a couple times. Her facial expressions were muted or non-existent. Even when learning she was actually human and not Kree there was almost no visible character development.

This was the saddest origin story of any Marvel film by far, and that’s including Spider-Man: Homecoming, which didn’t bother to show how Peter obtained his powers – the one thing that has made every other Spider-Man story rock. When “young” Carol Danvers (several different actresses) were portrayed they showed great facial expressions and character. Brie butchered it.

Brie could have been replaced by any blonde white girl and they would have done better. Fighting and other special effects were great – but would have been depicted the same with any actress. Here’s hoping that Disney acknowledges their mistake and recasts before the next film.

Is it worth seeing? Yes, but my recommendation is to wait until it’s available on Netflix. It’s not worth the trip to the theater.